Monday, June 8, 2009

Reasons...

Reasons why you should never:
-Where sandals in the rain. Why? Because when you walk, mud and wet gross-ness squishes up from the ground and inbetween your toes, creating an unpleasant feeling for the entire day.

-Chew gum and talk to someone important. Why? You look like a cow eating grass, chewing and chewing, the gum smacking loudly against your teeth and tongue, sometimes slipping between your lips showing off it's neon-like color.

-Fart and deny it. Why? Because we know it was you, seriously, we do. Don't try and pull the whole "omg that wasn't me", because guess what, yes it fucking was! We heard it! We saw you tighten your butt cheeks and try to hold it in with the fear of God. We could see you praying to God it wouldn't be a stinky one!

-Play Ding Dong Ditch. Why? Because it's fucking annoying.

-What are some other "Reasons you should never.."?
We want your opinion, so tell us what you think!

Let's Talk About Sex


Yes.
Sex.

I want to talk about it.
I want to know what it is about that word that either makes your nipples turn as hard as rocks, or makes you want to burn your ears off.

Sex.
We all know about it, how we learned about it, however, is a completely other story.
I learned about it through stick-figure choreography, presented by a nervous parent.
Others learn through the "Birds and the Bees" saying, which, am I the only one who doesn't quite understand that? Birds eat Bees...well..they could...and...well Bees have stingers, so they must be the boys, and Birds have eggs...so I'm guess they are the girls...I still don't get it...can someone explain or give me a scenario here? Anyhow, sex is everywhere, on commercials, in magazines, in books, on TV, movies, internet, youtube...EVERYWHERE.

For myself, talking about sex isn't difficult at all, but for others, they become a blubbering, blushing, stuttering, scatter-brained mess, with no less than half a word in their mouth before they are rushing out the door.

What is it about sex, and the topic of conversation on it, that scares people?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

First Blog


Okay....
So one thing that should be mentioned,
is a new trailer that recently came out on T.V.
A new trailer...that...is pretty much, the orgasm of
my movie-viewing, metaphorically speaking, vagina.
Can you guess what movie?
.....Guess yet?
No?
Easy!
NEWMOOOOOOOOON
(Okay, really there isn't that many O's).

Now I know some of you are like "ew, I'm so sick of Twilight, blah...it's so uncool..." or some of you who stopped liking it because of it's popularity.
Well...whatever..you people aren't even on my radar.

I just want to say, that I have watched it over a million times like the obsessed little fan-noodle that I am. (haha..noodle). So...what do you think of the new trailer? Looking forward to it? Looking forward to starting an angry mob over it? Looking forward to seeing Edward (or the lack there of, booooo)? Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
Seriously...do it......